Hello World!
Hey everyone…. I just wanted to take a moment to let you know what you’ve found. This blog is my little personal corner of The Paradigm Exchange. It is connected, and yet, separate from TPE. It will involve a wide variety of posts from a wide variety of subjects. Where TPE has a specific focus and drive….this blog absolutely will not. It will contain nothing more than my... read moreI Am NOT an Expert
Where has all the good conversation gone? I don’t seem to overhear as much as I used to. There certainly aren’t as many occasions where I feel I’ve gotten the chance to really talk deeply about an interesting topic. Partly, I think, because we all seem to have time in short supply. Always on the go. Someone’s calling or texting either you or the person sitting across from you. We... read moreGod of the Quiet
A peculiar thing happened October 1st. Many teens vowed to be silent for a day in order to show their support for the pro-life movement. At first thought, I wondered where I could sign up. After some more pondering, I realized how crazy that idea seemed. Silence to inform and change? I don’t know about you, but I don’t think my mind has ever been changed by silence. History’s mind... read moreRacial Discourse: Black & White (Essay One)
Has the election of a self-described “mut,” a doubtless racial reference, ushered in a new era of racial discourse between blacks and whites? Has this election finally confronted the polarizing racial politics and inequality that went unspoken for so long in this country? Were the younger, largely college educated black & white voters who enthusiastically cast their ballots for Obama not also... read moreState of The Paradigm Exchange: November
To all: I hope this entry finds you all doing well. I realize that it is now November 12th, and much too late to be writing this installment of State of The Paradigm Exchange, but excuses aside, I wanted to share a few things that you can look forward to over the next month or so. First of all, we are working on a partnership with Sample Press, a DFW local culture and arts zine put together by Jason and... read moreOn Becoming
As I have wandered in life, I have realized something about my relationship with God. I have two settings: “On Fire and Frozen.” One of the things that has affected the switching of this knob is me seeing passionless and/or hypocritical Christians. This knob has been switched probably 10 times from the time I started college to now. Recently, I feel that God has enlightened me about this cycle and... read moreWe Need to Talk
Recently, during a road trip across Texas, I spotted a billboard that read:
We Need to Talk.
-God
I couldn’t help but think to myself, ok, you first.
Surely you’ve seen these billboards. They’re on the highway between your town and mine and each one of them presumes to speak for God. And although I certainly would not put into question God’s ability to speak through a billboard, I’ve had my doubts about how many of them He might choose to.
It is perhaps one of the greatest tragic themes of my life: believing in God, believing that He speaks to His people, and yet, wondering why He would choose not to speak to me. And as I traversed Interstate Highway 20 through North Central Texas, I began to ponder what it would be like to hear God speak. Would it be audible and have a shade of Morgan Freeman calm to it? Or would it be majestic – God showering down His glory from the Heavens!? Or perhaps it would be like a whisper, barely capable of being heard. Maybe it’s not audible at all, and we communicate through some form of telepathy. Whatever it is, as I drove along the highway, I was fairly certain that it had not yet happened to me.
I have a very dear friend who recently returned from a three-month internship that he served at IHOP (Prayer, not Pancakes) in Kansas City, Missouri. And although there were plenty of duties which he was entrusted with throughout his service, the essential undertaking of the experience was a commitment to prayer. From what I understand, they would spend hours each day in prayer. Take a moment to let the word “hours” sink in. Truthfully, at this point in my life, I cannot fully grasp what it means to spend hours in prayer daily. Admittedly, I am the worst kind of prayer warrior. I pray far less than I should – and I’ll be honest, for the sake of honesty, and say that I can sometimes go months without truly praying. I’m not talking about the simple “thank you for this food” type of prayers; the type of prayer I mean is something intimate, conversational, like you would speak to someone you love. I can go months without having that type of prayer. Yet here stands my dear friend with whom I can truly relate on many aspects of my skeptical, desperate faith spending hours of each day in prayer!
I remember thinking to myself when he first accepted the internship, (insert sarcasm) that must be swell, to spend three months literally inside the Christian bubble. (end sarcasm) What good does it do to hide out in a church while the world is hopeless and hurting? And isn’t that how the world sees us anyway, as a people who live as Christ in our tidy, little buildings, and yet refuse to recognize him outside of them? I found no worth to this endeavor, to spend countless hours in prayer, as the world withers. I would never have said this to my friend, because to each his own, and it is simply not my place to remit judgment upon someone’s process of faith.
I am sincerely glad that I never did say any of that to my friend, because the last few months have been a journey of humility for me on this subject. I very recently had another friend make a statement that brought it all together for me. And although I have certainly thought this on many occasions but have never been able to put it so eloquently into words. She simply said to me, “I’ve come to realize that I am better at loving people than I am at loving God.” How true this plays itself out in my life. Of course it is no sin to love others, but how often have I left God out of the equation?
I have so many reasons that I have placed in my mind as to why I avoid prayer. For one, the lack of obvious return has caused my dwindled prayer life. Further assisting in my disillusionment is frustration over the self-centered, self-seeking prayers of our generation and of generations past. But most certainly, the main reason I avoid prayer is that, most of the time, I simply do not know how to have a relationship with a deity that I struggle so greatly to comprehend.
It is from this most desperate of circumstances that I make a renewed commitment to prayer. My friend’s commitment to hours of prayer is not one that I will likely duplicate in my lifetime, although in truth, I envy that dedication. But what I can certainly commit to is building a relationship, and the only way to do that is through communication. And maybe this time, I will actually listen.
I’ve thought over and over again about my tragic theme: believing, yet not hearing the voice of God. Then I’ve considered what God might say of my conundrum. I think He might say this, “It may be the greatest tragic theme of your life; believing in Me, believing that I speak, and yet choosing not to speak to Me.”
And while I kick and scream that we need to talk, only then, like a ton of bricks, God would say to me: ok, you first.
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The Paradigm Exchange is an opportunity for an evolving community to share and exchange their paradigms. We are faithful, we are passionate, we are sons, we are daughters, we are sisters, we are brothers....and these are our stories.
